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“I’ll wear the “Woman of the Year” title as a beloved crown”

2019-07-06 12:27

 «Դե Ֆակտո» N 03/149 (05-06/2019թ.)  

“De Facto" magazine has always followed Sona Van's career as the internationally acclaimed and award winning author of seven books of poetry and the co-founder and editor of "Narcis" cultural magazine. Her books have been translated into twenty languages to date, and have attracted attention and praise of not only Armenian, but also many foreign authorities. Last year, the Polish translation of the book "Libretto for the Desert" gained two Pan-European awards - the "Janicius" award and the "Homer" Medal, while simultaneously spurring a nomination for the world most prestiguos prize for poetry. The Chinese Literary Academy also presented Sona Van's most recent book for its nation’s highest poetry award. This is not only Sona Van's victory, this is a national victory - the victory of the Armenian book and the Armenian language. "De Facto" magazine decided to surprise Sona Van by crowning her as "Woman of the Year".

 

- Dear Sona, what kind of value do prizes have in the life of a creative woman and how important is the number of readers for the poet? What is the source of your enthusiasm? Literary critic David Gasparyan compares you to Sappho in his “Flaming Rose” monograph that represents your poetic world, and notes that you are creating female poetry. Does art have a gender? How do you perceive this formulation?

-Thank you. “De Facto” has always been attentive to my literary journey and my word, but this award was really unexpected. The woman and the poet are equally inclined to find the value of their existence in someone else’s eyes. Each appreciation, be it a warm encouragement, a medal or a diploma, helps to recharge and believe that your life hasn’t been wasted. I’ll wear the “Woman of the Year” title as a beloved crown. As for the definition of David Gasparyan that my art or poetry has a gender, I perceive that as an obvious truth. It’s as obvious as water being wet. If the writer has a gender, their words are written in that gender, especially in the case of a poet who always speaks in the first person. Gender is the most symbolic part of one’s ego, the most stable component of the subconscious. Gender and ego coincide, like the lock and the key, and if they don't, the word will clather, it won't be able to "unlock the door." Art and gender (sex) are fed from the same engine of creative energy. The poet uses gender as a tool to touch the core of existence to maintain the relationship between eternal and mortal. During their creative lives, poets use different languages, one for at a time of innocence, another one when in love, and yet another at the time of cynicism and sin. I'm excited about the impact of times monotone on my senses, and especially on my diction, at any of this stages. When I write I never think about the evaluation of my work, or someone deriving pleasure from it. For me, writing is too self-centered, it's almost a biological act that I perform in order to satisfy myself, to make fun of me, or to get rid of something. As a consequence of the alchemy between the subject and the uniqueness of the writers ego, the result may become valuable for others. As for the quantity of readers, I don’t have a certain optimal number, however, I feel that I would need maintain a loyal following of at least 12 readers. History has shown that this number is sufficient to ensure the longevity of the spoken word (for at least 2000 years).

-Dear Sona, you are an author of 7 books and more than a dozen translated collections. You have traveled to many countries - China, Kenya, South Africa, India, Poland, the United Arab Emirates, Germany and other countries. There you introduced your collection “Libretto for the desert” dedicated to 1.5 million victims of the Armenian Genocide. Soon you’ll present this book at Columbia and Yale Universities. How would you explain such an acceptance of the book and what does the poet gain from such meetings?

-The poet is a “vacuum” of impressions, and in that sense these travels are important. For me, they are also new linguistic environments, on the background of which our native languages acquire another gloss and significance. In spite of the theme of the book, however, for its success I should highlight the energetic potential of the used poetic language with which it has been able to reflect the fears, hopes, and other concerns of readers abroad. I’m glad that it is this book that has been translated so intensely and not only because the book is dedicated to 1.5 million Armenian Genocide victims, but also since, in today’s world of continuing genocides, injustice and other crimes against humanity it should be a topic of concern for all.

- We learned from Turkish Demokrataber.net that the Turkish police attacked Ragip Zarakolu’s “Belge” publishing house, who recognized the Armenian Genocide. They confiscated 2,000 books, and the Turkish copies of “Libretto for the Desert” were among them. How did you accept that news and what plans do you have regarding what happened?

It didn’t surprise me, as it is a signiture Turkish tactic, starting from the days of the Armenian Genocide until now. Let’s not forget that the Genocide started with the subjugation of writers and then with other intellectuals. The only surprising thing is that those with such savage intentions, can, at the same time, understand the importance of literature - and understand that by beheading the writer, you can behead an entire nation. In this respect, I am impressed. Fortunately, 30 books were able to be saved by Sargis Hatspanian, and today they are with me. One of which I conveyed to the Turkish-Armenian parliamentarian, Garo Paylan, with the hopes that he would facilitate a gathering with progressive Turkish intellectuals and writers. Unfortunately, this initiative hasn’t yet happened because of the seizure of the books. The concealing of the truth and transforming the lie into law is a commonly adopted form today, not only by Turkish, but many politicians. This is why I imagine a new world, not as one governed by law or fear, but as an autonomous habitat that is regulated by the innate objectiveness of a person and the integrity of his word. Today, all the wars and mischiefs of the world are based on plausible falsehoods, skillfully formulated lies, by savage men who move with ill-fated temptations, but not with conscience and sense.

 

-“Poetry is a new religion – of a new man.”: these are your words. What do you mean? Religion is a sensitive topic for many. Wouldn’t it be less controversial to formulate this idea in another way?

Of course, it would be possible and to date, poetry has been formulated in a thousand and one different ways expressing the particular writer’s creative credo, the personal mechanism of his poetic. Ofcourse in this case, I should also justify my formulation in a more responsible way, than when it comes to defining poetic form and tools. I’m glad to say that I have been able to justify my perspective in China, Africa, India, and even in the UAE. The reason was perhaps that my audience was a highly intelligent segment of society, outside of the narrow views of religious dogma, even if they do personally subscribe to this or that religion. Everything is easier, when your audience has read other literature, besides the Gospel, or studied other religions. Any fanaticism has an element of ignorance and lack of information, and any religion by its nature may lend itself to fanaticism. Much of the bloodshed being carried out in the world today is based on religious intolerance, the ridiculous idea that your God is better than the other's. Based on the truth that all religions are based on the word of God (that someone heard) the poet, as a divine bearer of the word, has the right to speak on behalf of God more than anyone else. And just as Christ says, "I am the way," the poet can say, "I am the word," without giving the appearance of grandiocity or the fear of being accused of blasphemy. I try to introduce the word as a path to a higher level of spirituality. As a form of purgatory, where hell and paradise meet. If the purpose of religion is to save people from the feeling of loneliness and fear of death, then today’s informed person can no longer be saved by the means available for a blind believer. I don’t exclude the existence of God, and my poetry is a naive attempt to find ways to communicate with this unimaginable existence. My faith is nourished with my ignorance of God, rather than knowledge or dogma. All the religions agree that the essence of God is unimaginable and invisible, but ridiculously dispute over the details of His image, supposing that they know His intentions. The world’s greatest geniuses and scholars have passed away without understanding the mystery of God, but some half-educated people pretend to read God’s mind and impose it on others as absolute truth. The purpose of poetry is to keep God’s phenomenon within the mystery, not its discovery. Every prophet is first of all a poet inside, as he couldn’t otherwise formulate the revelation that he had seen. The poet responds to the voices and winds of his time. The ambition to fill the desolation with words is also the poet’s monopoly. The paradise of the word is on the poet's lips, where there is nothing to gain and it appears in the highest spheres capable to perform miracles. Like prayer, the poem is important not for its content, but for its effect and its potential for spiritual transformation. Poetry is the most mystical phenomenon, because the root of the line is usually in another place, time and space, where meeting of spirit, intuition and dream takes place. A person is born with spiritual potential, but in order to become a spiritual person he must educate his heart, mind, soul, instincts and even his imagination. The love is 2000 year old and the hatrate is much older. The hatrate and violence are instinctive, while love and tolerance should be implanted. The majesty of the spirit is not inherited, nor can it be achieved through mechanical contact with nobleness and beauty. The lizard living in a temple wall is not more spiritual than the one living in a desert. Over millenia, various religions have failed to secure the main desire of the soul - joy. Instead, it was moved to a posthumous territory, making the sin inborn, inherited, and consequently inevitable, immortalizing not the soul, but the church. Religion is the first stage of the spiritual evolution of a person, after which the soul should continue on its journey... trough the word. Every soul deserves salvation. For those still able to blindly believe, let religion continue to do its job. For all others, there is POETRY.

- Reality is very imperfect, and literature is a reflection of that reality. What kind of posture should the writer adopt so as to remain truthful to reality? What kind of literature does our time require? Is there anything that you would not write about?

-All literature is the result of a relationship between the writer and his time, and our time is not an exception. Each period in history presents its own set of problems, the range of its own fears – apocalyptic fear, terrorism, parent killing, body-eating viruses, or sensationiolism, thanks to which the merchants of fear [the press and insurance companies] make huge profits. Consumerism, which is the engine of globalization, often tempts the writer too and he decides to exacerbate these unreal or inflated fears by serving not the literature that decomposes this fears, but on the contrary, a literature that makes it more tangible and realistic, because it is sold faster and it is more profitable. If the writer chooses merchandizing, he must be merely a merchant of hope, otherwise society can become a victim of a collective psychosis, because a professional writer is able to have a constant influence on the collective consciousness and the souls of people. In this sense, a talented writer is much more dangerous, than the one without any talent. The function of literature is not to simply copy reality, but to transform it and thereby transform the heart of the reader. Besides, where is the conscience. Should every truth be voiced without sympathy or concern? And where is the writer who “dies” from this ugly reality? What does he do to circumvent this reality, to replace the suffering cycle with the cycle of happiness? Is the purpose of literature photographing or copying? Literature also has a duty of transforming reality and moralizing it. Together with its vision, imagination and knowledge, it must carry a prophetic function, implanting a new heart to the reader. "I paint as I think, not as I see," writes Picasso. This is the writer's way of acting.

-In your poems you declare war as the personal enemy of a woman. How can poetry change reality? Was the feminist movement able to carry out the equality dream of a woman? What does a woman want? Is beauty really able to save the world, or this is an outdated idea?

Every beauty has the ability to save the eye, but in order to save the world it is necessary for a human being to become addicted to beauty – to the point of being unable to live without it. A society that will adopt this condition will be able to create harmony, thereby saving the world. In order for beauty to be able to transform the world, it’s necessary for a person to maintain and grow in his natural tendency towards beauty and majesty. In today’s world, everything is done to confuse our innates perceptions of beauty. This is also done by deliberately creating new associations through oxymorons such as “war of the roses”, “friendly fire”, “holy war” and so on, where evil and beauty are combined, thereby making the evil ordinary, and thus acceptable. Half truths or plausible lies are more dangerous than a straightforward lie, and this is common practice in advertising, politics, religioun, and entertainment. It’s very important that talent, morality and conscience work together and selling a book never becomes more important for the writer than saving souls. Unfortunately, our world has transformed into a world of consumers and merchants. Women should play a huge role in changing the world aura, because every woman wants to convey to her child a more perfect world, than she has had. A woman’s desires are few, but they are vital and reasonably justified - to be loved and happy, and to be the first to die before her child. And that’s exactly what makes war the personal enemy of a woman. In order to protect her child from the danger in this unfair world she undertakes to adopt a lion’s stance, that’s to abandon her ego, biography, personal insult, and to be able to be filled with the animal instinct as much as possible in order to protect her cub. In a world that continues the slaughter of her children, the woman has the greatest motive to end war. I strongly believe that the woman is equally responsible for the imperfection of the world, because she continues to pay tribute to the new princes, who are like the sons of Zeus, who are delighted by the smell of blood. We should remember that the mortal hero wins the gods in this same myth, and my dream is the simultaneous rebellion of all the world’s women against the war, murder and violence. First of all, you need to believe that it is possible, then that it's necessary, and it will become inevitable. The collective energy of all the angry women on the planet, if properly directed, will be able to overthrow not only the present structure that "gives birth" to wars, but also to turn the universe into a paradise. Feminism, unfortunately, was unable to direct that energy by wasting it on small victories. Rather than using the differences between a man and a woman for the sake of a common dream, it asked for equality between a man and a woman. The priority list of desired rights is not logical. We figth for embrios right for life and that is fantastic, but what about the rights for life for the ones in the prime of life or the children floating on the tights of sea in paper boats. In addition, keeping women’s issues in a relatively small set of circumstances, endlessly postpones her awakening to the biggest problem, which is the right to be buried by her own child, to put an end to the war, to be happy. War is the world's biggest shame. Schizophrenia, that can’t be rationalized, the biggest absurdity ever and as I said, the woman has the strongest motive to kill it. Years ago, I spoke with few soldiers in the hospital who lost their limbs in the war. I asked them what will would stop them from going to war again and they answered - My mothers cry. From that day on the end of war scenario cames to me not by legions of elephants or armed soldiers, but rather trought the chorus of milioins of weeping mothers hanging on to their sons military boots like a ball and chain. In this respect, the most potent and least utilized power is the women’s collective power.

 

- You often emphasize happiness as a fundamental human right, considering it to be more important than freedom and independence. Moreover, you call it the only legal obligation of a woman. Life is full of different strokes, with fear of loneliness and death, pain of loss, and it is not always possible to maintain the happiness of the soul. In that sense, do you have secrets that you would like to share with other women?

- Maybe it’s no secret that these fears are also inside of me. My poetry is the proof of that. With time, the Grim Reaper becomes more visible, and every day the mirror has yet more bad news for me. The facts of existence and death remain the same - from the time of cavemen until now. But I love life, this temporary state of being a human. Don’t blame me for that. Even God did not resist the temptation of being a human, even at the price of dying on the cross. Perhaps this is the price we pay to live. Only the human experience gives you the opportunity to love, dedicate, sacrifice, and share the pain and happiness of someone else, to communicate and coexist with all that is beautiful and magical. A sense of humor also helps me. Even if the feeling of happiness is incompatible with the reality of the moment, it doesn’t mean you have to agree to live without it. A person is able to tolerate everything, even the absurdity of the death of his or her own child, but that doesn’t mean that he or she must or should tolerate it. One always has fears, death is always unwanted, but you should be able to face your fears. By the way, happiness doesn’t exclude sadness. But there is something that is incompatible with the sense of happiness - It’s fear. The opposite of happiness is not sadness, but fear. By saying “Love your enemy”, Christ preached a precondition for happinnes, rather than generosity, because when you love your enemy, you are free from fear and doubt, from thinking over ideas for revenge. Love saves a person from all sorrow, liberates him, giving necessary air and space for happiness. As for death, I perceive it as an argument for existence, which is directed to any living thing. In that sense, the reigns of time aren’t in my hands. At best, I can move as if they are in my hands. I don’t dwell on death. I’m interested in one thing only: how will my heart obey the unknown and inevitable call of death? Generally, an educated person can easily overcome depression, fear of loneliness and death. Art reinforces that ability by creating an environment where salvation and happiness seem possible. Furthermore, art is not an abstract thing. Good music transforms the body’s molecular structure. The poetic line fights against time and death, rebuilding it with the change of diction and tone by preventing alienation from real life. The poet often adopts the monotone of time so precisely that it is difficult to say to whom the mortal ego belongs, thus, putting death into an ethical trap. Otherwise, death doesn’t bother me much as a biological disaster. I’m more frightened by the idea of my loved ones dying, more than I am of my own death. For a poet, death is never a final place, no matter how far away it is. He mourns those, who mourn, but not the dead. By making the vicious monotone of time audible, he helps the reader to not suffer for his mortality and only perceive death as a way of escaping those dull repetitions. This is the mechanism of salvation offered by the poet, which, in my opinion, is nothing less than a compassionate or aesthetic act. As for eternity, it stopped to interest me from the day that my physicist father explained that eternity is not a spiritual, but mathematical phenomenon based on repetitions and multiplications, similar to an image that appears between two facing mirrors.

 

- You always wear a type of crown or headdress. Would you comment on it? How important are the celebrations dedidacted to women for you?

- I would like to convey my love for the crown to all the women and girls of the world, and fortunately, today they are also fashionable. Wearing a crown compels a certain psychology, certain gait, certain demands, certain courage, all emphasizing one thing - I'm a loved woman. I am in charge. It keeps the woman in the sphere of her grandeur and divine nature. The one who wears a crown can't tolerate cowardice, gossip, or routine. The crown also introduces aesthetic and theatrical elements to life and gives importance to the beauty of existence. Life too precious of a gift to be satisfied with merely physical existance. I have always been interested in the mechanics of happiness. I always followed my mother's movements and facial expressions, wanting to understand the logic of her satisfaction, light smile, and the way she looked after my father. In short, one should not live life in preventing drowning in water, but rather dancing with the waves. As for women's days of celebration, I believe that women should be celebrated every day and anything done for the woman is also done for the future.

-“Everything has already been said.” These lines are from your first book. So far, over a hundred reviews have been written about your poetry, which means everything has already been said about it as well. What can motivate you to express something new? How has your “pen recharged”? How are you able to preserve the purity of the Armenian language while living in a foreign land for 4 decades?

- It turns out that living in a foreign linguistic environment isn’t a bad thing. It helped me to redefine my own conceptions of everything by finding new names for them. To this day, I speak English with a foreigner’s accent and I like to see the smiles of the native people which reminds me that I’m an Armenian. When I take a pen, I have no desire to say something new, but rather, I have an insatiable need to get rid of something old in order to regain my reality and restore my breath. Generally, very obvious things put pressure on me because they exclude assumption of another thing. I prefer memory, which, because of being imperfect, always allows me to supplement it. I only rely on reality when I’m too tired. In all other cases, my reality or the poetic truth is built, not on the basis of what I see or feel, but rather on poetic concepts that are constantly subject to change. As to the writer’s immigration, there is no need to see a tragedy in it; the poet is migratory by nature. He doesn’t feel at home anywhere and he is always between two things. On the contrary, it doubles the source of emotions. Armenia is my first husband, the father of my children, and the second is America, from which depends the future of my children. I live with a lover’s self-assurance who has two longings, two lonelinesses, two fears, two loves and so on ... This is the double vision that is shared by a drunken man and a poet. As for my pen, it is recharged by the human potential for good and evil. In this regard, the book “Libretto for the Desert” is an exception, because there, my pen was charged by the feelings of shame.

- “Please explain what feelings of shame inspired you when writing “Libretto for The Desert” You are an ardent pacifict and frequently promote the end of wars and violence. Armenian history is filled with Kings and warriors who conquered and killed in order to expand empires. If they are not your idea of heroes, then who is?

The war is also my shame, and for me it has always seemed so absurd to see the military excersises carried out by men and the demonstration of weapons. Let me say in advance that my pacifism doesn't refer to the current reality of Armenia, because we have to defend ourselves. I speak as a citizen of America with more than six hundred military bases in all corners of the world. Every time I look at a military parade, I laugh, then I feel shame. When will the human being finally mature? When will this masculine cabaret come to an end? My resentment towards war is not only an intellectual or pacifistic disposition, but rather it is based on my personal moments of confusion and feelings of absurdity in regards to any thought related to war or violence. It is deeply rooted in my childhood memories of when my grandmother – while folding my veteran uncles single-sleeved shirt – would curse the war that took his arm. My other uncle could show the exact place on the map, where he left his left leg. My childhood memories consist of limbs that are freely floating in the air, canes and prosthesis, just like the dreams of orthopedic surgeon. My physicist father refused to fight in war, by saying “I can’t stand the smell of blood and I can’t kill by order”, making me think that the war is a matter of choice and taste for which he was ready to die.

My new hero today is not someone who kills the most in battle, but instead the one who decides to desertthe call of war in order to preserve the most lives; the one who is ready to pay for his convictions with his freedom or even his life. The one who refuses to wear a killer’s costume, hiding his cruel intentions behind elaborate epaulletes and shiny metals. The ones who are brave enough to fight only to put an end to this absurdity. Much is dependent on the women’s collective anger in order to reshape this world.

- Which is the biggest impression of your latest trips and what kind of new initiatives do you have?

- The poet is a litmus paper defining the environment. A society in which the poet feels harmonious, is the healthiest society, because the suffering of all passes through the open wound of the poet. During my visits, I was very vigilant about this and, in that sense, I would emphasize China. There, I felt the emphasis on the poetic word, intonation, the admiration of everyone towards writers and their reverence to the written or spoken word. This is the country where the basis of national culture has not been disrupted for millennia and today, consistent work is being carried out to keep technological accelerations in harmony with the spiritual evolution. It is something that isn’t seen so clearly in other countries of the world. The Festival was organized by the Writers’ Union vice president, distinguished writer Jidy Majia and was sponsored by an entrepreneur producing a beverage called Bangui that has an 800-year-old history. Using money for the sake of culture is encouraged by the owners of the land and the wealthy know that they want to convey to his heir not only wealth, but also an environment that ensures happiness, that’s a value-oriented society. For the people, who inherited the Confucian wisdom, literature and poetry continue to be the factors that determine morality, human relations and dignity. While being in the economic boom, today the state’s concern is the creation of an ideological and cultural bank, and everything is done towards that purpose. The world’s best thinkers and writers are invited to the country, and they are given an opportunity to exchange ideas. You look upon this with a smile and witness the rebirth of an Empire. As my last initiative, I can say with pleasure that on April 23, the Blackstone American publishing house released the audiobook English version of “Libretto for the Desert”, which is narrarated by the famous Hollywood actress, painter, poet and activist, Beata Poznyak. It will be introduced to the public at The LA Live Grammy Museum on May 19. Before that it will be introduced at the Yale University Poetry Club in New York. I’m glad that we were able to do this so close to our Genocide commemoration day, which helped us to once again raise awareness around the Genocide issue. In the near future, I will be in Colombia and will participate in the world’s greatest poetry festival. In September, I will return to China for the occassion of the official Chinese translation of my book.

- How do you envision a new Armenia? Could it become a source of inspiration? What kind of Armenia do you dream about, and what could dissapoint you?

- The whole process of the Velvet Revolution was more poetic than political. In that sense, it inspires not only the heart of the poet and the Armenian, but also any dreamer or visionary in search of a better world. It was ideal, not only because of its choreographical perfection and magnificence, but also the resulting energy—a perfect blend of love, hope and solidarity. It was a miraculous aura that reminded us of who we are and what mission we have in this world. Against all logical calculations, a new platform was created, which implied a completely new reality: new land, new water, new air, new people. And, especially, a new person with his new way of thinking, new hearts, new values and new imagination. Such a person is not foreign to us, but in truth resides inside of us and can be found and revived only from within ourselves. These are the ones who were supposed to be the divine type of Armenians. Today, when all the possible political, economic, and social systems are in collapse or exhausted, the Armenians have the opportunity to introduce themselves to the world with a completely new vision, the core of which is the memory of humanity’s divine gene, his natural (non-religious) moral ambition, his natural justice (not imposed by law), his natural humanity (not imposed by the idea of democracy) and so on. Armenians are creative, productive, humorous, and generous. They adore their parents and children and are very hospitable. It should be the rebirth of me and you, as a spiritual axis of a new Armenia and its physical eternity. The only way to make the Velvet Revolution a reality is to be engaged in this goal, inspiring each other, giving each other strength and especially patience, because the soul’s revolution usually takes longer than the one in the political arena. The most important thing is to clarify the purpose, what we want to do, and where we want to steer this new ship. This is the main task of the day. Only the fact that this ship is now reality is enough for the first part of the miracle to be considered to be carried out and its authors, in the name of Nikol Pashinyan and the nation, receive their due respect. The further course of the ship depends on an entirely different set of questions and will move when the determination to leave the coast will coincide with the vision of the other coast. We have been given the opportunity to create a new model of existence, and making it a duplicate of another model (such as the European model or any other) will be a very dissapointing sight and a waste of the accumulated energy. This will be the case, when for the failure we can no longer blame the “poor old Armenian luck”, but rather poor usage of the good luck. Politics is the art of correct usage of opportunities, and such a possibility is given to choosen people with the permission of the "Cosmic Architect", and wasting it will certainly have cosmic consequences. I'm afraid of this, though I believe in the “last minute Armenian wisdom”, though in this case not only wisdom, but also prophetic vision is needed in combination with an unprecedented new dimension of sacrifice, where the crucified, unlike Christ, doesn't have the confidence to be reborn on the third day of his death. And this isn't required only from one person, but from many. The sooner the formation of such a spiritual core takes place, the sooner the ship will move. Every day I sleep with this dream. I'm a poet… which gives me the right to have dream of such magnitude.

Interview by Susanna Tamazyan

 

P.S. Before this issue of “De Facto “ was published Sona Van was granted “Internatonal 2019 Maria Konopnicka Prize”, given to outstanding woman in the world and also the Pan Armenian Influence 2019 award for “The most influencial poet”.

 

DON’T CRY FOR ME YEREVAN

 

I remember

so vividly

the whispered talk under the wall

of the boys standing shoulder to shoulder

and then—

                        the turning of their heads abruptly

all at the same time

(like birds

perched on a frozen clothesline)

and then

my accelerated steps

as if carried by the wind

and it’s true—I don’t remember

            their names now

and I’ve never really known their names

                        they were called the boys from our yard

            but I’d recognize them with closed eyes

and I’d distinguish from all the winds

                                                the one

                        born from the abrupt movement of their heads

            turning synchronously

                                                at once

fluttering my pelvis

   all the way to the bus station

 

 

            of course I’d recognize them

even now—I can strain my eyes

                        and see them

                                    as they are today

                                    on that same worn-down street

still whispering

            those boys from the yard all dressed in black

                                    like women mourning

                                                an imaginary corpse

 

LAST VACATION  IN THE SNOW

 

Indeed how short

            are the days of love on Earth-

do you remember darling

how you used to throw

                        your boots

carelessly by the bed

            in the room full of pheromones

                        the wine

and our synchronous movements

under the sheets?

 

Now you are gone . . . dead

in a city

            that can’t be found on a map 

I recall your footsteps

                                    in the snow

and cry

            (I am a crier don’t you know?)

                        while the dog

howls sadly

            cursing God

            the moon and everything else

            that exists

            up there in the sky

 

p.s.

you know I resurrected you

            in my dream

                        from the snowy pattern

                                    of your footstep

                        branches on your head

            then you died again

                        in our room

on my knees this time

 

 

WITH ONE EYE SHUT

 

I am Persephone - remember?

the daughter of the goddess Demetria

Pluto has abducted me

in order to return

I had to starve

but I ate six kernels of corn

and now

I am condemned

to remain forever

in underworld

 

six loves all in all and here I am

everything was symbolic in the fable

six more centuries and they will dig me

I know - six knights

will clean my gold dust

with their eyelashes

 

(I hope therefore I believe)

they will shine anew under the dazzling sun

 

six cupolas

six altars

six lies

 

I am the church of the future

It is not bad in the Netherworld - here

to be considered the one great poet

of the dead and all day long

praise wordless

the enviable peachy-freshness of

beauties’ skin

after that lengthy slumber

and at long last

after countless nights

of insomnia

your life’s second half

is possible to live

a bit easier

in the spirit diaspora - no?

compliant

where it is enough to yawn

with a slight stretch like a cat

and no need for your words

to always pierce

like arrows



Վերադառնալ








Խմբագրական
ՍԵԴԱ ԳԱՍՊԱՐՅԱՆ

2019-07-04 16:31

«Դե Ֆակտո» ամսագրի գլխավոր խմբագրի պաշտոնակատար

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